All about my wooden leg

Last of the wisdom teeth

2009-12-02T20:37:00Z

*poke*

(Pause)

*poke*

(Pause)

*poke* *poke*

(Long pause)

Dentist: "Okay, it's going to feel like I'm using a lot of force here..."

*Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiip*

Assistant: "That's it?!" (Laughs)

Dentist: "You're free to go."

Total time in chair: MAYBE 10 minutes. And about a minute of that was just chit chat with the assistant.

Yay for (what I hope to be) the last afternoon spent with a mouth full of blood!

I particularly enjoyed the part where I was lying in bed with a teabag half sticking out of my mouth.

You're lucky, you're so lucky!

2009-07-12T06:37:56Z

Hallo again.

I recently thought about how unfair it was to anyone who reads this to only have to read about times when I was feeling depressed or unhappy.

Things have been great lately. I've been busy with the new store, working with some fantastic new baristas, learning a LOT about interpersonal relationships, and generally turning into the 'lifer' that people always thought that I would become. My job has its moments. I get frustrated, but only with my own deficiencies.

*TM* and I went to Les Miserables today. It was his birthday present, and we went after a delicious breakfast at Locus with the breakfast club. I haven't seen this show in more than 10 years and it was interesting to see the musical after so many years of change and living. Mostly, I was hoping that *TM* would enjoy it, being a new experience for him, but I also found myself enjoying the thankless roles a lot more. Surprisingly, my favourite singers were Enjolras and Javert, characters that I never even thought about when I saw this musical for the first time ten years ago.

Will probably update again sooner. Am not less happy. Am feeling like maybe I haven't been sharing the right things these past few years.

I may have mentioned this previously....

2009-04-21T07:58:15Z

... but I once told someone that when I'm happy, I don't write as much.

Oh hey, I'm older.

2009-04-15T07:37:43Z

And man, THAT was a birthday weekend I'll not be forgetting any time soon.

Thanks, everyone!

Photo by: the talented Christopher Evans! Thanks, Chris!

Blargh.

2009-04-07T09:14:21Z

Am updating with a wad of toilet paper stuffed into my nose. My allergies are out of control thanks to the arrival of Spring, and my head has been leaking continuously for two days.

Hmm. Here's what happened in two and a half weeks:

- Reconnected with *TM* and ended up spending an entire day walking around in the sunshine with him. It was kind of a relief to see him again after all this time.

- Found out what store I'm being transferred to as an ASM, as well as what my raise is going to be.

- Played two days' worth of Magic. On separate weeks, of course. Though I haven't had time to go through and mess with my decks, I seem to be getting more into the game, as evidenced by my frustration and occasional anger when losing.

- Thought about joining an Ultimate team, especially after *CSel* insisted that much of the game is just running anyway.

- Calibrated my Nike+ and ran my first 10K. I came in at one hour and one second. =P

- Summoned up some courage and got my OWN free beer from the Wolf and Hound on its 2nd birthday. This, I think, is probably the accomplishment that I'm most proud of, because it required me to get over some of the insecurities that I've developed over time.

- Went for breakfast with friends at Bert's on Main and the Three Lions Cafe.

- Slept a LOT.

- Tried to put in a deposit for the Pole Dance Studio but didn't manage to cash the cheque that I needed, then was a little irritated to find that the Studio was now requesting $60 more than they had originally quoted. All in all, I think that my life would have been perfectly fine if I'd never had to deal with these shiny, plastic-y people. I definitely could have done without being flashed by the instructor in tattered, stretched hot pants running up the stairs. To be quite honest, I'm pretty disgusted with the whole thing and would like nothing better than to spend the $30 or whatever it's going to cost per person on something tasty from Bin 942 or Two Chefs and a Table. *sigh*

On perspective.

2009-03-22T21:18:16Z

Last night, my Nikon FM lens was smashed beyond repair. I'd left my bag on the back of a couch and it got knocked off, resulting in the lens cap being driven so far into the lens that I couldn't even pry it off to see the shattered glass, which I could both hear and see.

Shocked, I tried desperately to pull everything apart, even though common sense told me that it would probably result in something pretty terrible, especially as the lens cap was the only thing protecting my bare hands from a shower of broken glass. *nep* stood by, ready with a garbage bag, but in the end, he suggested that maybe it would be best if I didn't get the cap off.

I relented, and shrugged it off. "It's just a thing." I sighed.

Then, even though it was around 11:30PM, I walked from *shanebee*'s house at around 1st and Main to Broadway and Oak, which gave me time to think about whether I really believed what I'd said.

As I walked, I thought about the things that I'd done that day.

I met up with some friends for breakfast, met a new friend, then ate a good meal followed by warm pie with two scoops of ice cream (we went to Aphrodite's). Then, as I walked around in the sunlight, I complained to *MG* about seeing a guy toss a banana peel from a bus into a bush. He chided me, choosing the 'starving children in Africa vs. actually witnessing someone doing something relatively harmless' argument. I grumbled about still being kind of irritated. Then, I bought a chocolate muffin.

After *MG* went home, I went to Main Street, sauntered up the street in the sunshine and peeked into every girly store along the way up to the Welsh Cambrian Hall. I brought *PL* and *JP* some pie, for which they rewarded me with a shirt with a monster eating little ducklings. My shirt is blue.

I did two or three circuits of the Hall, where a collection of Etsy people were selling their awesome wares. If I'd had just a little more cash, I would have left with a bag full of stuffed animals, shirts, jewellery and probably a new bag. Instead, I walked up to Front and Company and bought myself new (used) clothes, none of which are black!

I walked back to Broadway, bought some alcohol and two items of canned food. Then, I went and had an Americano in Our Town as the sun went down. Finally, I walked to *shanebee*'s birthday party, where I got lots of hugs, we watched Firefly and I ate beans, canned wieners, fruit salad, cupcakes and a cake-y tart.

I guess it was just a big night for me. I'd like to go into more detail, but I won't, because you can probably guess what conclusion I came to.

I just realized that I've never posted one of these.

2009-03-21T05:27:03Z

...but polls are part of the package deal that LJ provides its paying customers. You know, like Voice Posting (ha ha ha ha ha). Anyway, I like polls, and I'm curious.

View Poll: The Laundering Dirty Laundry Poll

I just ran 8K. Like THAT explains anything.

Suddenly Seymour

2009-03-12T06:45:19Z

Thanks to iykwim's podcast, Radio Potluck, I just re-lived some great moments from highschool. Namely, the one where I was dressed as a baglady, sang about 2 solo lines, then sat on the edge of the stairs and watched a guy inside a giant plant costume for 2 hours, for 5 or 6 shows.

Anyway, my life seems to be moving out of the realms that I am familiar with.

- I was successful at my interviews and will be transferred to a new store in a week or two.

- My cousin has declared that she would like to do some pole dancing as part of her bachelorette party, and so I have been assigned the task of getting that together - which generally involves going through pink and purple websites and trying to guess which nightclub I would hate the LEAST should the evening require us going to one.

- I went to see Watchmen last night, mere days after it opened and on cheap movie night - a night that I have avoided like the plague for years and years because I don't generally like sitting in crowded theatres.

The rest of my time is split between trying to maintain my health while not developing an eating disorder and finding time to meet up with friends. Whoo. Never a dull moment.

It really feels like I'm moving forward with my life, which seems odd seeing as everyone keeps telling me how bleak things are in the world these days.

My last three fortune cookie fortunes:

A TANTALIZING NEW PROSPECT WILL COME YOUR WAY.

MONEYWISE, YOU ARE LUCKY THIS MONTH.

YOU SHALL SOON BE REWARDED FOR YOUR ENDEAVORS.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

2009-03-04T18:47:48Z

Self-esteem, you haven't always been around for me, but I fully expect you to come out and help me rock this interview today.

(The photo is of a Chinese knock-off of Howl's Moving Castle. The movie is dubbed into Mandarin and Cantonese, but the subtitles are from this little gem, which has resulted in a hilarious, sometimes confusing plot.)

It's enough...

2009-02-28T18:01:32Z

... to say that I'm starting to feel a bit stressed out.

Echoes.

2009-02-24T08:07:50Z

I feel like I have so much to write about but none of the time to do so.

Working three days a week at my old store has been both fantastic and disastrous for me. I am re-energized by having an outlet for my abilities as a competent employee, but exhausted by the shift back to waking up at 3:30AM SOME days. Also, having to deal with three times the volume of my home store three days a week makes the two days of working at my home store tedious and irritating.

The running is going well. Remember when I calculated that I was running 5K 3-4 nights a week? It MIGHT have been 6K. Google Pedometer says 5200. Nike+ says 6100. Not sure who to believe.

Am encountering the 'Are you feeling okay?/Don't lose any more weight/Just don't become gaunt' comments at work. The photo is to assure you that a) Yes, I am feeling okay b) I don't really plan on losing any significant amount of weight in the future c) I don't think that I'm in danger of becoming 'too thin' any time soon. I suppose I should be thankful that people are showing that they care, but to be honest, if no one was willing to point out that I was obese, I don't see why they should be so concerned now.

Am also encountering the 'You're looking great!' comments at work. Those, I can live with. =)

Went for a run in the rain tonight and came home soaked. It was great.

The weekend.

2009-02-04T19:04:31Z

"Who's that?"
"Charles Darwin."
"What does he do?"
"He's doing it."

And so it went.

Was excited to finally watch The Fall on Sunday night. The experience was made even better by the addition of buttered homemade bread, fresh pasta with spinach and oyster mushrooms fried in butter, jalapeño havarti cheese and crackers, a cheese (cheddar, bocconccini) and tomato salad, a large slice of caramel pecan flan and half a bottle of wine.

By the end of the night, I'd laughed, cried, and eaten maybe two days' worth of calories.

The movie was beautiful, by the way. I would strongly recommend it.

My Saturday was less exciting, but equally enjoyable. After breakfast, *PL*, *JP* and I headed over to Videomatica, followed by the Comicshop, after which I broke off from our group and wandered around for the rest of the afternoon. This involved buying some pastries (all FOUR of which I ate by the next day), then shuffling downhill to Kits Beach, where the sun was out(!) and I was able to take out the Nikon to shoot some pictures.

Friday was Magic night. It was fun, as usual, except for the part where I lost every single game. =( Or almost every game, as one of the games went on for around 3 hours and I conceded out of boredom. This was the end to Friday though, which began at Caffe Barney with Eggs Barney and was filled with walking and carrying a bunch of stuff.

Ah, my life is so exciting. Anyway, I am in the middle of a six-day run and it is feeling like a thirty-day stretch. Hopefully, my next three shifts will not end in me coming home completely frustrated and angry, like my last three did.

Schadenfreude!

2009-01-22T21:01:39Z

Was feeling like I was about to get sick this week, but I've managed not to - through sheer fucking willpower.

Selfish next door neighbour (WoW) and his moronic girlfriend had a big, loud fight yesterday night at 10:00-11:00PM, which made me wonder why people who do not live with each other insist on carrying on late at night. You don't live here; go home! Chances are you're going to end up going home anyway, so what's the point in keeping everyone else awake? Anyway, all the yelling reminded me of my childhood, and was easier to fall asleep to than his usually much louder RPG playing.

Anyway, I'm trying to decide if I should play an endless stream of love or breakup songs. I figure that for each night of sleep that jackass has stolen from me with his WoW playing, he deserves one twist of the knife.

No one's gonna take me alive.

2009-01-19T06:32:07Z

Every time I find myself running to this song, I feel more like a white knight and less like a damsel in distress.

Tonight's run was kind of funny, as I was running in a cloud of fog so thick that I couldn't see much more than a few feet in front of me. Then, I would run out of it into a much warmer, completely clear patch in the fog, and watch more fog roll in over the tops of the buildings, eerily lit by streetlamps. Of course, then I would either run into the fog again or be engulfed by it from behind. Such an odd cycle.

Livin' On A Prayer

2009-01-18T22:47:23Z

... perfectly describes my ability to play Rock Band.

Spent last night eating cheese fondue, playing Scene It and Rock Band II at *sweetbeans* and lamelliform's housewarming party. I was the bassist - some smallish girl with electric blue, Asian-buns hair named Monkey C. *NS* played guitar as a gigantic guy with red hair and eyes named (naturally) Monkey Du. The real problem with these games is always that I still look at it as a musical challenge, and not a game. Consequently, I get really into playing, because it's like some crazy sight-reading exercise.

I caught the last bus along my route, and on the way home, gave directions to two groups of people.

This morning, I woke up at 12:00 and have been drinking coffee since 1:00. Whoo! I drank so much coffee that I started to get the shakes, and so am writing to tell people how much I am enjoying Cryptonomicon. When I first read the plot, I put it back on the shelf, because I am not usually interested in WWII stuff, cryptography or high-tech finance. However, I ended up buying it just because it seemed like it would take a LONG time to read (my copy is 1130 pages) and I've been looking for stories that are more challenging than say, vampire stories, time-travellers and their spouses (still a good book), and guys obsessed with capturing beauty in a perfume.

So far, I've been laughing out loud at some of the jokes that have come up. It's such witty, fast-paced writing that it reminds me of having a conversation with *filmgoerjuan*, without the self-deprecating humour. The other thing that I've been pretty amazed by is how well things are explained. It's kind of similar to being at the best lecture EVER.

Anyway, my coffee buzz is wearing off, and I think I'd like to go and buy a dayplanner, despite having lined one up earlier in the year.

Just a quick update.

2009-01-17T18:08:25Z

The first few weeks of 2009 have gone by in a bit of a whirlwind.

I started the year off reconnecting with *the user*, who has been out of the country for far too long. We spent an afternoon eating Mexican food in Gastown, followed by a well-deserved pint of beer at the Railway Club. Then, because I have my priorities in order, I went to participate in a Magic draft at *nep*'s (and I WON some of the games! Against all odds, and with a five-colour deck. Go me!)

The next morning, even though it was snowing like crazy, a bunch of us got up early (for mid 20-30-somethings) and trekked over to the Tomato Cafe in Kits. We had eggs benny and tons of coffee under a bright skylight, as the snow coated the streets outside. This was followed by a trip to Pulp Fiction, followed by sitting and drinking coffee in a Blenz while *the user* checked his e-mail. After some waiting around for Facebook to completely fail as a communication tool, I pulled out my phone and we made plans to meet *xdjio* for dinner.

More walking around in what sometimes felt like a blizzard, followed by a blissfully happy evening of drinking at Burgoo and then at Caffe Barney. I didn't know this previously, but drinking and eating comfort food in a log-cabin-themed restaurant in the middle of a snow storm is kind of awesome. The guys were hilarious to talk to, and I went home feeling that my year was off to a great start.

So far, it has only been more of the same. I've been hanging out with friends every night that I can, working a lot but not getting quite as stressed out, and my promotion is kind of sort of in the works. I went running three times since the snow melted off the sidewalks a week and a half ago, and have bought more new clothes than was probably wise.

Am off to breakfast/brunch now with my newly-repaired Nikon in tow, with fresh batteries that I dredged out of my box of stuff-that-I-swept-off-my-desk-when-I-last-had-company-over. Whoo!

Most recent Chinese Fortune Cookie Fortunes:

YOUR BELIEF IN THE GOODNESS OF MANKIND WILL BE REWARDED (HA! *snort)

AN OLD FRIEND WILL TRY TO CONTACT YOU

YOU WILL BE DEEPLY LOVED

Aww.

"And oh, how I loved everybody else when I finally got to talk so much about myself..."

2009-01-12T05:54:27Z

It's going around, and so, I had to do it.

25 Random Facts Meme

1. I'm an awful cook, with the exception of making nachos.
2. I have an aversion to phones, and so have trouble calling people without experiencing very slight anxiety pangs.
3. ... but I'm almost as bad at replying to e-mails.
4. I have worn skirts almost exclusively for most of my life. They helped me compensate for all of the femininity that I felt I was lacking, and (until I started wearing knee-length skirts) hid how small my feet were in relation to the rest of my body.
5. My apartment is the size of most people's living rooms.
6. I've been writing on the same LJ account since 2000, and while my earliest entries are terribly emo and embarrassing, I feel it's important to keep them up because they are part of the record of how far I've come.
7. I love to dream big...
8. ... but I'm usually crippled by laziness.
9. Still, you have to watch out when I actually want to get something done, because I've also experienced my share of unlikely successes, more recently accomplished 'blaze of glory'-style.
10. I play Magic: the Gathering, and will openly discuss and invite people to games.
11. a)Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by clever people. I'm not always quick enough to follow the conversations that they are having, as I don't always pick up on sarcasm (ironic, no?) or satirical humour....
b) this is different than my feelings of inadequacy when people discuss topics that I don't know anything about (but should, like national and local politics).
c) And while it bothers me far less these days, I also worry about being perceived as an idiot when people are discussing very specialized topics that they have studied in school and I can't follow the conversation.
13. I love spicy peanut sauces and soups.
14. My fingers are frequently ink-stained, thanks to my dedication to hand-writing everything.
15. Sometimes, I buy things for the sheer pleasure of being a consumer.
16. In the past year, I've discovered that I love running, and now feel antsy and 'off' when I don't get to go at least 3-4 times a week.
17. I enjoy taking photos with film cameras, but, as with so many things (singing, playing piano, writing coherent blog posts, etc.), do not feel compelled to work at getting better at it.
18. I was an insomniac up until about a year and a half ago.
19. I have always been a slow eater, except with anything bite-size or most things that I can eat with my hands.
20. Speaking voices and verbal tics fascinate me.
21. I keep the key to my handcuffs (they're real and don't have a safety release!) on my day-to-day keychain and use it to wind my Vivitar Ultra Wide and Slim because the little plastic film-winding piece broke off.
22. I love walking around when it is absolutely pouring rain, and sometimes when that rain is paired with very high winds.
23. I don't illegally download things. I know this is keeping my entertainment expenses high but it also keeps me reading, selecting what movies I watch very carefully and appreciating a good period of silence when I get tired of the music I own.
24. I always want cuddles, but function relatively well without them.
25. I have kept a written journal since 1990.

No one tagged me, so I won't be tagging anyone else. But I think that everyone should write more, because I never seem to have anything to read.

The particular situation in which I really don't shine, and one of the ones where I really do

2009-01-07T07:37:16Z

Will write later about how awesomely my year started out. For now, I'll just tell you about my day.

Conversation from this morning:

Me: Blah blah, *got whatever he wanted*, have you done a customer survey for us before?
Guy: "Yeah. *pause* (laughing) I said this was the WORST Starbucks I've ever been to. But you're hot, so it's okay."
Me: Uhhh..... Oooo.... kay... would you like to do another one?

Man, I am so smooth sometimes I think I MUST be single by choice.

Later in the day, a man came in and bought $50 worth of stuff. Or tried to.

First, he gave me a fake credit card - my system said "Unexpected Error" and when I looked at the name, it said something dumb like "Unlimited Credit Card" He laughed, saying that he didn't know why it wasn't working. He claimed to have used it just yesterday. I gave him my "Okay, I'll play along for now, but I'm not a patient person" look.

I asked for another form of payment and he immediately had a $100 bill in his hand. "Uh huh..." I thought. He hemmed and hawed about giving it to me, all the while laughing really loudly in this kind of annoying, braying way. "Oh, but you probably can't break this..." he said.

I took it from him, looked at all of the security features and immediately noted:
- the small face (in the spot close to the middle of the bill) wasn't a watermark, it was just a blurry image that could be seen the entire time I was looking at the bill
- the holographic stripe down the left side was not holographic but some kind of silver foil, and though there were 100s stamped down the side, there weren't any leaves or tiny 100s behind them

I handed it to my manager, who happened to be behind me, and he confirmed my suspicions. "It's not the right size," he said, handing it back.

The guy was kind of annoyed, but immediately got back to his good ol' boy act. "What? That's impossible! It has the head on it and everything!"

*snicker*

"Do you have another form of payment?"
"I only have this one last credit card..."

I swiped it and got the same answer. Upon inspection of his 'credit card', it looked like something you get inside higher-end wallets at the mall. I'm surprised that it swiped at all. "I'm sorry. I can't accept this one either."

My manager chimed in. "If you have a piece of ID, we'll be able to force approval."

Surprise surprise, the guy didn't happen to have his wallet with him. "I'm just going to run to my car and get it." he said.

"Uh huh." I replied, already putting the items he'd picked out behind the counter.

Needless to say, he did not come back, which is just as well because I excel at discreet confrontation/refusal, but it also turns me into a shaky, nervous wreck afterward.

Christmas Eve morning

2008-12-24T19:12:08Z

- wake up, peek outside, and see that it is snowing again, and probably HAS been snowing since last night.

- worry about the things that I've been worrying about - having to see my parents, wanting to meet innz at the airport when he gets off his flight from New Zealand, wondering how many people are going to be annoyed with me for not having Christmas cards/presents made or sent in time, asking myself if I want to move forward in a company that I am quickly losing confidence in...

- hop online, check the usual sites, including Facebook.

- read a note written by a friend of mine staying in Nairobi. He wrote that last night, the apartment he was staying in was invaded by four men, three of which were armed with guns and crowbars.

The one man with the gun was at first sticking it through the door and then he moved to the front window and started smashing the glass and yelling at us that he was going to shoot us. We just kept screaming and holding with all our might but after around 10 minutes they had completely torn the door off the wall and entered the apt. They threw the guard on the ground and one guy hit Samuel while the first guy shoved me down the hall to the bedroom. I raced into the room and grabbed my laptop and tried to hide it under the mattress - this made him mad and he hit me with a wrench or something on the jaw which knocked me flat for a moment. It was followed by a few kicks to the stomach… While all this was happening, it felt so surreal as if I was watching it on TV or in a movie or something. The pain was there but somehow it felt distant. I could hear shouting and screaming from all over the apt. as they tore it apart. The guy in my room was grabbing stuff and saying he needed more money or he was going to kill us all. I just kept telling him to take everything but please just leave us.

In the end, the police showed up, the attackers/thieves got away, but some of the stolen items were retrieved. *SL* and his host are okay, but *SL*'s wallet was stolen, and VISA cancelled the wrong credit card, leaving him pretty much penniless and without a driver's license. Overall though, he seems to be coping well, so I can only wish him a safe remainder of his trip and a speedy, safe trip home.

- feel stunned and lucky to have the problems that I have.

"Okay - I'm just going to sit here and cry for a while. Don't mind me."

2008-12-24T05:19:40Z

Argh. Didn't realize how many things were stressing me out until this morning, when one little confrontation broke me and I ended up crying in the back room for 10 minutes.

Let it be known...

2008-12-21T21:30:45Z

... the going rate for having your front walk shovelled by two teenagers is $20.

Spent last night making Christmas cards, then walking over to *GS*'s for cheese, grapes, chocolate, cookies, beer, shots of Crown Royal (! delicious !) and champagne. Then, walking back home at 3:45AM, kicking up some extremely beautiful, sparkling snow and taking pictures.

Had dim sum with my parents this morning, despite calling them an hour beforehand and urging them not to come. They still did, even though it is now snowing like crazy out. In the end, I declared that I would walk home, which saved them a trip onto the side streets, at least.

Am loving this snow. Really.

Bus ride thoughts

2008-12-21T01:32:53Z

Just spent an entire bus ride home thinking that if I had a winding staircase in my home, I would want it to encircle a fireman's pole, possibly with a slide built in underneath the staircase.

I'd also want a dumbwaiter, one of those hidden rooms underneath a staircase, the hidden hallway with indoor pond and stepping stones from 'The Haunting', an indoor/outdoor pond, a garden, maybe a moat with dangerous animals in it, ooh, definitely a turret or four, an underground ballroom (like Welbeck Abbey, but I would totally use mine), and some randomly-installed secret passageways that I could discover over time.

And since I'm wishing, I'd like to add that none of this is to be haunted.

Went for breakfast with *tizbarb* and *TD* this morning at Cafe Medina. They took us into a separate back room this time, where there was sunlight streaming through the windows, making the cafe-goers seem even more glittery. I really went all out and ordered a waffle with raspberry caramel, an Americano and the Cassoulet. *drools* That was the best bacon I have ever eaten. The waffle was tasty as well.

Afterwards, I was planning on going straight home as it was so cold downtown, but instead, I ended up wandering around, looking into shops and buying little things until I'd reached my lifting limit and went home, four hours later. Now, if it snows tomorrow, I will have plenty of food to attempt to cook with, as well as some beer if it turns into THAT kind of a night.

Hope you're all well.

Oh right!

2008-12-19T18:28:22Z

Next craft project: Baby Penguin Amigurumi!

Okay, okay, I know that I said I had too many penguins, and *hessiebell* just made me a perfectly adorable felt one, and I don't know how to crochet yet... but he's so little. I think I can make room for one or four more.

In which I am reluctant and downright unhelpful

2008-12-19T08:28:01Z

Earlier in the year, my cousin, *LH* asked me to be the maid of honour at her wedding. ~~Rather~~ Extremely rudely, I asked her if it would require a great deal of effort on my part. My reluctance was due to some reservations about how much time I could actually spare in the time leading up to the wedding - I will (hopefully) be at a new store, learning how to be an ASM. Also, though we were very close childhood friends, since then, we have barely talked more than two or three times a year, and usually at family gatherings.

She assured me that it would not be a lot of work. In my mind, she really should have retracted her offer and told me off for being an asshole. On the other hand, I could have resisted the immediate pressure I felt to accept (it was still an honour), and said no. Neither of these things happened.

So, before Qi Pao shopping last week, I asked her what sorts of things she would like me to do as MOH. She gave me the usual list, organizing the bachelorette party, helping with random detail work that will inevitably turn out to be huge problems, etc. But then, she asked if I would be willing to sing. The ceremony is being held in a church and there will be some sort of wedding mass, which will require someone to lead the singing parts.

I said no. I still regret saying yes to my brother when he asked me to sing at his wedding two years ago. It was a humiliating, unpleasant experience, and did nothing to enhance the ceremony or anyone's enjoyment of the ceremony. This time, I am happy - proud, in fact - that I have taken a selfish route. *LH* was disappointed, and tried to prod me a little, but I have had quite enough of these experiences. One would think that as MOH, I would have enough things to worry about without the additional pressures of singing again. My life as a soloist seems so far away and so completely removed from who I am now that it surprised me that she asked at all.

I've been thinking about all of this lately, as well as the state of my store, the boredom of poverty and how Christmas seems to be making everyone angry or depressed right now. To combat all of these things, I made some M:tG Christmas cards, seen here and here.

And since it is now -whatever in Vancouver and there is snow and ice everywhere, I haven't been able to go running at all. This is only thing that really has me a bit down, because I might have to go and find a treadmill if this keeps up for any longer. *sigh*

Wow. This is a pretty disjointed entry. Sorry about that. I'm ready to go to bed so that I will have the energy to pull on two to four layers of clothing for my walk to work tomorrow.

Stranded, frozen, frost-bitten me.

2008-12-15T06:47:37Z

Yesterday, before leaving my house, I made the decision to bring along a toque, a turtleneck sweater and a long black skirt made with a lot of fabric. At 10:15, when *filmgoerjuan* and I left *hessiebell*'s, I had all of these items on, along with a second, shorter skirt, a tank top, a blazer and a giant, heavy wool winter coat. Oh, and my standard black boots. As soon as we walked out the door, it became apparent that it had been snowing for a while. Undaunted, we headed over to the bus stop.

We got over to the Downtown core at around 10:40, and I waited with *filmgoerjuan* at his bus stop for a while. However, after half an hour of waiting and no sign of a bus, I decided to go and wait at my own stop. At this point, the snow was coming down much more steadily, and I very stupidly did not worry about what this might do to affect transit.

My bus stop had a few people standing around, as well as an old couple who were seated in the shelter. I waited, while watching party-goers and clubbers spill into the streets, screaming and dancing in the snow. As I waited, I remembered all of the times that it took me ages to get home on transit once a cm of snow had fallen. I hurried into the 7-Eleven and bought myself a banana and a chocolate bar, in case the ride took a terribly long time.

I didn't have to worry about that. An hour later, I couldn't feel my toes any more, and ducked into the 7-Eleven once again. I discovered that *filmgoerjuan* had finally caught his bus, but that traffic was practically at a standstill along Granville. Most of the trolley buses (the ones that I take) were parking along the side of the road. A woman inside the store said that she had just heard that the power lines had come down, and the buses were not running. Another woman was frustrated because all of the cab company phone lines were busy.

It was now an hour and a half after I'd left *filmgoerjuan*. My cellphone was about to die, I had no way of getting home, and my toes refused to warm up. Thankfully, lamelliform and *sweetbeans* were home, because I ended up walking to their apartment and spending the night on their couch (after watching Most Haunted and Mythbusters) with them.

The next morning, I made my way home and had a half hour to myself before my cousin picked me up to go Qi Pao shopping. I made the mistake of NOT dressing as warmly as I had the day before, which resulted in a great deal of discomfort throughout the afternoon. The saleswoman had told my cousin that they opened an hour earlier than they actually did, so we spent some time sitting in the car outside, waiting for them to open. Then, when we finally got into the store, there wasn't any heating, so my toes and fingers started freezing again.

Once I was in the change room, it got so bad that I had to brace myself before taking off my JACKET. The saleswoman (wearing a down jacket) turned on one small portable heater, and between having my picture taken with the dresses on, I would run over and warm my hands on it. Soon, I was also trying to warm my toes through my boots, as I was rapidly losing all feeling in some of the toes in my left foot.

All in all, it went okay, but when I got home, one of the toes in my left foot was completely white and numb. I made the mistake of rubbing it (apparently, you're not supposed to do that if you get frostbite) and nothing happened. It didn't respond to pressure or become pink or anything. In a bit of a panic, I ran it under some warm water, and was relieved to see the tips of my toes turn bright red/purple as they thawed out. When my white toe started to turn bright red, I heaved a sigh of relief, and my fears about losing that one vanished.

Anyway, it is somewhere around -8 degrees in Vancouver right now. I have chosen to stay indoors since coming home, and spent quite a bit of time sleeping under two down blankets.

Not sure if this is something I can blame on the weight loss. I'm going to, though. And I'm going to predict that this will be an extremely dangerous, uncomfortable winter for me.